Beth Rich is a queer educator and lifespan doula who works at the thresholds and intersections of menstruation, family-building, pregnancy, birth, loss, and other life transitions. She's a non-binary human who's excited to talk about bodies, periods, birth, and sex in language that holds space for all of us. Discover more of her work at thebethrich.com or on Instagram @thebethrich.

As the period positivity movement grows, we see blood in ads, on social media accounts, and elsewhere more and more frequently. In February, the Unicode Consortium announced that Emoji 12.0 would include a drop of blood emoji, which many celebrate as a symbol of period positivity. Period or menstrual blood is nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to be scared of, right?

Well, yes. But for people who are averse to blood, whether it’s because of a phobia, bad experience, or just isn’t their preference, all of the focus on embracing the bloodiness of menstruation can be overwhelming and even exclusive.

If that’s you, I am here with some good news. You CAN be period-positive and not love blood.

Here are some ways that you can embrace and celebrate your body and cycle without focusing so much on your menstrual blood.

Cycle awareness. Your cycle is more than your period. Learning about the rest of the menstrual cycle, which includes four phases or events—menstruation, the follicular phase, ovulation, and the luteal phase—can help you understand and even enjoy your cycling body. If your bleed is a struggle, identify other parts of your cycle that feel good. Celebrate when they happen, and use that energy to prepare for your next bleed.

Examine your feelings around blood. Looking into your fear or discomfort may help you better understand what exactly it is about blood that bothers you, equipping you to feel more comfortable around your menstrual blood. Many people who dislike blood or have hemophobia (the fear of blood) say that sometimes period blood isn’t as bothersome or triggering to them because it often has a different color, texture, and smell than blood that comes from other parts of the body. Others have said that taking an anatomy class or learning more about blood and the body helps lessen their discomfort.

Choose language that feels good to you. The words we use matter. If there is language around menstruation that doesn’t feel like a good fit for you, find something else. Some people choose not to use the word “period,” often preferring “bleed.” We’ve all heard “Aunt Flo,” but there are a number of alternatives like “moon time,” “shark week,” or even the German “Erdbeerwoche,” translated to “strawberry week,” that may feel more fitting for you and your body. You can choose language that makes you chuckle, helps you feel powerful, or helps you remember what you value or enjoy about your menstrual cycle. If you can’t find words and phrases that feel right, get creative!

Find period products that work for you. There are a number of ways to collect your menstrual blood, and some are more hemophobic-friendly than others. Experiment and find what feels best for you. It may change from cycle-to-cycle, and even day-to-day on your bleed. Whether you’re into period undies, menstrual cups, cloth pads, or (yes) disposable tampons, finding period products that feel good for your body and mind is a huge act of self-care.

No matter what, you’re not gross. Even if you feel uncomfortable or afraid around your menstrual blood, you’re not gross. This is a both/and situation. You can feel that discomfort (all of your feels are valid!) AND your body isn’t gross, it’s pretty cool actually, as is your cycle. Learning to hold both of these truths at once can help you rock period positivity and be open, honest, and gentle with your blood-related discomforts and phobias.

Every person and every cycle is different. If you want to be more excited about your cycle and period, but struggle because of an aversion to or fear of blood, you’re not alone. By expanding your understanding of your cycle, your feelings, and your blood, you can move towards a version of period positivity that resonates with you. You can appreciate your body and your cycle, phobias and all.

Much hand wringing has been done over the recent UN climate report. You know, the one that gives us just a few more decades before we descend into a post-apocalyptic hellscape? Ya, that one. Its scary stuff, and if you weren't already suffering from global warming-induced anxiety, reading this report will surely put you over the edge.

The immediate response has been to collectively catalog all the ways that individuals can change their personal habits in an effort to reduce their carbon emissions: Eat less meat! Turn down your thermostat! Use reusable grocery bags! It's a kind of self-soothing-by-listicle in the face of an impossible challenge.

I have a problem with this response.

While I will never argue that our personal efforts to reduce our impact on the planet aren't important, the fact remains that just 100 companies are responsible for over 70% of global emissions. Some of the most impactful choices we can make as individuals include cutting meat out of our diet, ditching cars in favor of mass transit and having fewer children. But not everyone can or should make those choices, and even if we all did, the collective reduction in emissions would only be a fraction of what's required to reverse the course of global warming and avoid certain catastrophe.

Doing what we can to take care of the planet is just part of what it means to be a good person. Don't trash your home, don't waste resources, don't destroy that which gives you life - these are values that I think we can all agree are important (right?) But it is not incumbent on us to twist ourselves into knots every time we forget to ask our server to "hold the straw" or stay up nights because we forgot our reusable mug that one time. The responsibility for reversing our march toward planetary destruction lies at the feet of those doing the lion's share of the polluting. So how are we as individuals, supposed to ensure that this happens? What are we supposed to do with all this environmental angst? 

Here's what you can do: vote. Vote as if your life and the lives of those you love depend on it - because they literally do. If we're going to keep the planet from warming past the point of no return, we're going to need folks in power who will legislate our way to a sustainable future. The road map is already laid out for them, they just need the political will to follow it. 

In the last municipal election here in Vancouver, we elected a mayor who had recently been arrested during a demonstration against the expansion of the Kinder Morgan Trans Mountain Pipeline. An oil pipeline that will transport diluted bitumen -a sludgy mix of sand, crude oil and other hazardous chemicals - from the Alberta tar sands to refineries on the coast and in the US. Wanna know how many votes made the difference in getting him elected? 957. Less than a thousand votes got an anti-pipeline activist elected. Other races in our province were decided by less than 5 votes! How's that for individual choices?

So vote! Vote early & vote in every election that you can, because decisions that effect the planet aren't just made in the highest offices. Cities, states and provinces have a huge amount of influence when it comes to things like mass transit, waste diversion strategies and major energy projects. To our American fam heading to the polls today, we are crossing our fingers HARD for you up here in Canada. After all, our fates are intertwined, as are the fates of all of us who share this tiny planet spinning through space. 

​The future is period positive. Or, as Chella Quint puts it: period neutral using a positive approach. But to get there, we need to grapple with menstrual stigma — and that means interrogating the language, beliefs and practices that support it at every level.

You might think critiquing the phrase "feminine hygiene" is trivial, but for some of us, it really matters and is connected to larger systems of oppression. Challenging the convention of categorizing menstrual products (and by extension, those of us who use them) as inherently feminine, is just one of the ways some of us choose to resist the biological essentialism that genders our bodies without our consent.

Questioning why shifty, gendered euphemisms are an acceptable stand-in for straight talk about periods also pushes back against coded language that instills shame into our everyday lives.

Here are 3 reasons to say um can you not? to anyone calling period products “feminine hygiene”.

eu·phe·mism

ˈyo͞ofəˌmizəm/ a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.

Speaking openly and honestly about menstruation helps break the cycle of secrecy and misinformation that unjustly impacts so many lives worldwide. To genuinely care for our whole selves, we need to find and support ways to talk about — and really advocate for — our bodies and our health needs without embarrassment or apology.

While euphemisms might make us feel marginally less awkward in the moment, they’re not really a great long term strategy for eradicating shame or nurturing more informed and empowered relationships with ourselves and each other. You might not be conscious of it, but over time, they can discourage self acceptance and reinforce negative thinking.

"Feminine hygiene" doesn’t conceal periods; we all know what it means. But when we defend the term as status quo, or use it to avoid speaking plainly about menstruation, it can have the effect of further reifying periods as taboo or inappropriate to talk about. The culture of silence this feeds isn't good for anyone, and can directly contribute to broader public health concerns too.

Changing the name of a section in a drugstore, or the way a tampon company talks about its products, won't be the final blow that ends menstrual stigma - but it will send a powerful message that periods are normal, okay to talk about, and don’t need to be hidden.

Feminine hygiene was never not a problematic phrase. But in 2017, it feels like a dinosaur walking among us.

It’s rooted in outdated, binary assumptions about sex and gender that uphold cisnormativity by centering cisgender bodies as natural, while simultaneously classifying cis women + trans and nonbinary people who menstruate as unnatural, inherently flawed, or unhygienic. That’s like quadruple the patriarchy.

Because "feminine" means "female" and "woman" in this context, it can be argued that "feminine hygiene" sends a reductive and objectifying message — to trans & cis women alike — that womanhood is defined by genitals and reproductive capabilities.

Transgender men and nonbinary folks who have periods shouldn't have to suffer the same invalidating messages, or feel forced to adopt a label that doesn’t represent us either. Having to walk down an aisle or purchase products labeled "feminine hygiene" can be pretty alienating and emotionally difficult for trans, nonbinary and gender nonconforming people for whom menstrual products are a basic necessity. This kind of experience is really representative of other barriers trans and nb people face in a world that’s not designed to accommodate the complexity of our bodies and identities.

Calling menstrual products "feminine hygiene" may seem like small potatoes, but the implications behind it - that the functions of your body determine your gender and who you are - can contribute to trans people avoiding doctors who may not understand their health needs, or being denied service outright when they do try to access medical care.  

After the passage of the 1873 Comstock Act in the United States, which made it a federal crime to distribute or sell conception-related materials, the birth control industry coined the term "feminine hygiene" to re-brand their products.

Over time, this term evolved to refer to menstrual products instead, illustrating how products and services related to birth, birth control, and menstruation have historically (and to this day) been contested and controlled. Feminine hygiene went from describing something that was actually illegal, to describing something that’s sometimes treated as though it practically should be - hidden from sight and segregated to its own private aisle.

Target's path to inclusion

Recently, a request was posted on Target’s Facebook Page by the Campaign to Degender Menstruation asking that they consider changing the category description on their website from Feminine Products to Menstrual or Period Products. A totally reasonable request, and worth a shot given Target's history.

In 2015, Target started phasing out gender-specific product categories and switching to gender-neutral displays, saying "we never want guests or their families to feel frustrated or limited by the way things are presented".

A year later, Target issued a Stand for Inclusivity statement in response to legislative proposals mandating that transgender people use the restroom that reflects what’s listed on their birth certificate, rather than that which corresponds with their gender. In the statement, Target reaffirmed their support of the Federal Equality Act, which provides protections to LGBTQ folks and opposes action that enables discrimination.

They further demonstrated their commitment to inclusion by explicitly welcoming transgender team members and guests to use the restroom or fitting room that works for them.

I support this campaign's request 100% and hope Target will continue their inclusion efforts by introducing gender-neutral, non-euphemistic labeling of menstrual products in their stores. Other companies and brands should step up to do the same, and I totally encourage anyone who cares about this issue to speak out about the changes they want to see. Even if you're initially dismissed or met with confusion or resistance, know that your voice matters, and that together we're laying the groundwork for progress to come.

Update: Target removed this call for more inclusive language from their Facebook page shortly after this post was published. I reached out to Target's social media team for comment but didn't get a response. It's frustrating and disappointing, but par for the course for those of us working to build a more inclusive menstrual (etc) health space. Cis allies, we need you to take up the fight too - please support your trans and nonbinary friends who are trying to carve out some space in this world. It's not easy, and we can't do it alone.

• Period Emojis: Destigmatizing Periods or Just More Coded Language?
• Lunapads for All Genders, All Bodies
• Why Inclusion Matters